Are you a zebra trying to be a horse?

For many of us with ADHD, masking is a part of our everyday reality. We try to fit in, suppressing our natural instincts and behaviours to align with what’s considered “normal.” perimenopause—that things really started to fall apart.

It’s like wearing a costume that doesn’t fit, and over time, it can be incredibly draining.

As women and girls, many of us learn early on to internalise our neurodivergence. We see people around us acting in ways that feel foreign to us, but we start to mimic their behaviors. 

It’s like we’re watching a puzzle and trying to fit ourselves into pieces that don’t quite align.

For so long, I felt like I had to be like everyone else to avoid negative feedback. Being told I was "too sensitive" or "doing things wrong" made me think that something was wrong with me and that I had multiple character flaws. 

So, I learned to mask my true self - pretending to be more like the people around me in order to fit in, even if it didn’t feel authentic.

This kind of masking often starts in childhood. We learn to hold back our enthusiasm, mute impulsive thoughts, and push through sensory overwhelm, all while trying to blend in. We worry that showing up as ourselves will make us "too much" for others to handle, and we might have been told this too.

This constant effort takes its toll. And over time, you forget who you truly are. It impacts our friendships, our work, and even our relationships with family. 

We feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and disconnected from our true selves.

The reality is: You don’t have to be a horse in a world full of horses. 

You’re a zebra. And when you embrace who you truly are - neurodivergent and all - you open up the energy you need to live authentically.

Unmasking takes time, and it requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and the right support. It’s not about changing who you are, but about finding ways to thrive as your true self. 

And when you do, everything changes.

You deserve to live in a way that feels empowering and freeing. 

Get ready to embrace your zebra-ness!

How has masking affected your life, and what’s helped you embrace your true self?