Why are so many women and girls realising they’re neurodivergent, and why are they being dismissed?
In recent years, an increasing number of women and girls have been recognising that they are neurodivergent, often discovering they have ADHD, autism, or both. For many, this realisation has come after years of struggling to understand themselves, going through life feeling ‘different’, or getting other diagnoses that never quite fit.
However, despite this growing awareness, many women are being met with dismissal, scepticism, or outright invalidation when they seek assessments. They are told their experiences are part of a ‘trend’ or that their suspicions are due to too much social media. This undermines their lived experiences and contributes to a harmful cycle of misunderstanding around neurodivergence in women and girls.
Why are women and girls only realising now?
The reality is that ADHD and autism have historically been misunderstood, particularly in women and girls. The research and criteria used to diagnose people have mostly focused on how these appear in boys, leading to large gaps in understanding. For example, boys with ADHD are more likely to display hyperactive behaviours, whereas many girls present with inattentiveness, daydreaming, or chronic overwhelm — traits that are often overlooked or dismissed as personality quirks.
Similarly, the social ‘masking’ skills many autistic girls and women develop can make their struggles harder to detect. Masking involves suppressing behaviours or mimicking what’s seen as normal by society in order to fit in - but it’s often at a great emotional and mental cost. Over time, this can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, and even burnout. Only now, as awareness grows and women begin to see their own traits reflected in others’ experiences, are many of them starting to connect the dots.
The harmful dismissal as a ‘trend’
Despite the growing evidence, research and lived experiences which support neurodivergence in women, society is often quick to dismiss the surge in diagnoses as a ‘trend’. Some argue that social media platforms are responsible, spreading awareness that encourages people to self-diagnose incorrectly. While platforms like TikTok and Instagram have certainly played a role in raising awareness, they’ve also provided validation for many who have felt unheard or misunderstood their entire lives.
Being dismissed as following a trend is deeply invalidating. It ignores the failures that left these women and girls undiagnosed for decades. The dismissal also continues the stereotype that neurodivergence only looks one way — typically the way it presents in boys — and leaves countless women struggling.
The role of misdiagnosis and invalidation
For many women, their first brush with the mental health system does not result in an ADHD or autism diagnosis. Instead, they are often misdiagnosed with conditions such as:
Anxiety or Depression: These are common co-occurring conditions in neurodivergent women, but they are often treated as the root problem rather than symptoms of undiagnosed ADHD or autism.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Emotional dysregulation and difficulties with interpersonal relationships, which are common in ADHD and autism, are sometimes mistaken for BPD.
Bipolar Disorder: The highs and lows of hyperfocus and emotional dysregulation can resemble the mood swings associated with bipolar disorder, leading to incorrect diagnoses.
Eating Disorders: Women with ADHD or autism often struggle with disordered eating, whether due to sensory sensitivities, emotional dysregulation, or impulsivity. However, the neurodivergent root of the issue is rarely explored.
These misdiagnoses often lead to inappropriate treatments, further frustration, and delayed access to the right support. Worse still, when women raise concerns that ADHD or autism may better explain their struggles, they are frequently dismissed as overthinking, being overly influenced by social media, or even seeking a diagnosis for attention.
Why Is society so quick to dismiss neurodivergent women?
There are several reasons for this invalidation:
Outdated Stereotypes: ADHD is still often thought of as the hyperactive boy who can't sit still in class, while autism is associated with young boys obsessed with trains or numbers. These stereotypes leave little room for recognising the subtle, internalised, and masked presentations seen in many women and girls.
Bias Against Women’s Health: Women's health issues, whether physical or mental, have historically been under-researched and dismissed. Neurodivergence is no exception.
The Social Media Effect: While platforms like TikTok have given many women the language to articulate their experiences, they have also made it easier for detractors to dismiss their self-awareness as ‘hysteria’ or a passing fad.
Systemic Failures in Healthcare: Many healthcare professionals are not adequately trained to recognise how ADHD and autism present in women. This leads to invalidation during assessments, with women being told they don’t meet the diagnostic criteria based on male-centric models.
The impact of invalidation
When women and girls are told their struggles aren’t real or are part of a trend, the impact is devastating. It perpetuates feelings of being misunderstood and unheard, which are already common for neurodivergent individuals. It also delays access to the right support, which contributes to a cycle of poor mental health, low self-esteem, and burnout.
A call for change
To better support neurodivergent women and girls, society needs to move beyond outdated stereotypes and actively work to understand the unique ways ADHD and autism present in women. This starts with better education for healthcare professionals, greater public awareness, and a willingness to listen to and believe women’s experiences.
The increase in diagnoses is not a trend — it’s the long-overdue recognition of neurodivergent women who have gone unnoticed and unsupported for far too long. By validating their experiences and ensuring they have access to the right resources, we can create a world where being neurodivergent is not stigmatised but understood and celebrated.
If you're a woman or girl navigating the journey of discovering your neurodivergence, know that your experiences are valid, and you deserve to be heard and supported.
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